The Family Institute of Northwestern University on the Importance of Sleep for Children (up to 18)
With the start of the new school year, routines are
taking shape. Youngsters are assembling the complex puzzle in which homework,
activities, sports, social life and family time compete for a limited number of
hours in the day. Frequently it seems there's not enough time to do it all, that
something's got to give. What often gives? Our children's
Thompson, Ph.D. is a more-than-qualified clinical psychologist when it comes to
advising parents how to deal with children. The author of nine books and a
frequent guest on the Today Show, the Oprah Show and CBS’ 60 Minutes, Thompson
offered sound advise to parents on September 16th for the Glenbard
Parent Series held at Glenbard South High School.
humor and insightful antidotes, Thompson explained how parents might be the
architects of responsible and confident teens. Though he was quick to point out
that parents cannot take all the blame, or all the credit for their teen’s
character. Much depends on a teen’s growth through development.
a child’s instinct is to hold on to his/her parents. The first three years of a
child’s life is about attachment. Parents and siblings are the center of the
child’s world. The connection between parents and their child is the
foundation, a “secure base,” from which a child can develop. The frameworks
that support that development are the child’s parents, friends, extended
family, religion and school.
defines a responsible teen as “One who has gotten enough from his/her family to
meet the moral needs of school.” In order for this to happen parents need to
understand how children initially relate to their family and to have an
understanding as to what kind of “family structure” they are providing.
defines the different types of family structures using Kantor and Lehr’s
descriptions of normal family styles.
1.The “Closed Family” exercises values such as:
preparation, certainty, unity and discipline.
2.The “Open Family” exercises values such as:
responsiveness, latitude, cooperation and tolerance.
3.The “Random Family” exercises values such as:
free choice, challenge, spontaneity and creativity, but this is done in an
need to spend time with their teens and it doesn’t have to be “quality
time.” They need to have expectations
and give their teen a chance to act in a responsible manner.
indicated that the clarity about values is expressed through discipline. While
he believes that clarity is the most difficult to achieve, he believes that for
discipline to be effective it must be “clear, quick, consistent, warm and
referred to Diana Baumrind’s study: “The influence of parenting style on
adolescent competence and drug abuse.”
families are described:
1.Authoritative requires high demands and high
2.Authoritarian requires high demands and low
3.Permissive requires high responsiveness and low
4.Rejecting-neglecting requires low responsiveness
and low demands.
also defined six parenting style sub-types:
Baumrind’s findings were that the least drug
use occurred in Directive and Authoritative families. Democratic families
produced more drug using teens but they were also competent which protected
them somewhat from their drug use.
Nondirective and Unengaged families produced higher levels of drug use and
lower levels of competence.
completes the structure is for parents to listen to their teen. This means that
a parent not talk even when the impulse strikes. Then they need to acknowledge
that their teen is different from them and avoid the dangers of generalizing
from their own experiences, accept that difference, and then love that