Wednesday, November 25, 2015

Follow Ups, Suggestions and Take Aways from Glenbard Parent Series eventswith Dr. Ken Ginsburg on November 17  & 18

At last weeks GPS Dr Ginsberg discussed the 7 C's (listed below) which are the essential building blocks of resilience.  Also below is a suggestion from  Dr Christine Carter with a suggestion on how to foster family conncetion.  Share a story from your family history.

The Seven Cs: Building Blocks of Resilience
Bottom Line #1:
Young people live up or down to expectations we set for them. They need adults who believe in them unconditionally and hold them to the high expectations oding blocks of resilience. f being compassionate, generous, and creative.
Competence: When we notice what young people are doing right and give them opportunities to develop important skills, they feel competent. We undermine competence when we don't allow young people to recover themselves after a fall.    
Confidence: Young people need confidence to be able to navigate the world, think outside the box, and recover from challenges.     
Connection: Connections with other people, schools, and communities offer young people the security that allows them to stand on their own and develop creative solutions.    
Character: Young people need a clear sense of right and wrong and a commitment to integrity.    
Contribution: Young people who contribute to the well-being of others will receive gratitude rather than condemnation. They will learn that contributing feels good and may therefore more easily turn to others, and do so without shame.   
Coping: Young people who possess a variety of healthy coping strategies will be less likely to turn to dangerous quick fixes when stressed.
Control: Young people who understand privileges and respect are earned through demonstrated responsibility will learn to make wise choices and feel a sense of control.

Bottom Line #2:
What we do to model healthy resilience strategies for our children is more important than anything we say about them.

Christine Carter's Tip: Tell a Story from Your Family History

Here's a way to foster family connection: Share a story from your family history. It doesn't even have to be a good story! 
Research shows that one way people foster happiness is by creating a particular type of narrative about their history, one that demonstrates that family members have been through both good and bad times together, but through it all they've stuck together. 

Kids who know a lot about their family history--the parts that they didn't experience themselves, but that were passed down to them through stories--feel that they are a part of something much larger than themselves. This, in turn, gives kids enormous emotional benefits according to researchers Marshall Duke, Amber Lazarus and Robyn Fivush. These benefits include: 
  • a greater sense of control over their lives; 
  • higher self-esteem; better family functioning; 
  • greater family cohesiveness; 
  • lower levels of anxiety; 
  • fewer behavior problems. 
In fact, in Duke, Lazarus, and Fivush's research, knowledge of family narrative was more strongly associated with children's emotional well-being than any other factor. (Read more about this research here.)

So one way to foster family happiness is to make time for family conversations. Why not start this week? To help, I've created this list of 20 Questions to Ask at a Family Dinner

Community Take Aways from Ken Ginsburg Event

On November 17, Ken Ginsburg, MD was the featured speaker at a Glenbard Parent 
David Majewski (left)
and Ken Ginsburg, MD
Series program at the College of DuPage MAC. Glenbard West parent David Majewski shared the following takeaway from the program titled Helping Kids Thrive:  Mastering the Tools to Succeed in a High Pressure Culture:

"I enjoyed the suggestions about "lighthouse parenting," which focuses on the relationship. Not having all the answers with your kids but problem solving with them as they face things. Make sure your children know they are loved unconditionally. Hold them to high expectations. Help them to be their personal best. Success is not defined by a grade - the goal is to have your child become a successful 35-year-old adult. Praise effort over results. Strive to strike a balance between protection and guidance. Guard against raising children who are afraid to experience failure; it is what creates their ability to bounce back. Model healthy ways to deal with stress, such as exercise, good nutrition and sleep."

Jay Wojcik & Ken Ginsburg, MD
On November 18, Jay Wojcik attended our Youth Leaders Community Forum and Glenbard Parent Series presentation about resilience by Ken Ginsburg, MD and shared the following takeaway: "This was one fantastic presentation. "Lighthouse parenting" is an effective, pragmatic approach to developing young people. It is a great guide for all those who live with and work with young people. I especially enjoyed the doctor's remarks about the importance of exercise, nutrition and sleep as a way of helping to develop a resilient teen-ager. We know exercise is one of the best stress-busting strategies available. It enhances sleep and concentration, which is key to learning. And exercise is especially critical for students with ADHD, depression and anxiety. This translates beautifully to our work with younger children, which is the main focus of Healthy Lombard."