Follow Ups, Suggestions and Take Aways from Glenbard Parent Series eventswith Dr. Ken Ginsburg on November 17  & 18

At last weeks GPS Dr Ginsberg discussed the 7 C's (listed below) which are the essential building blocks of resilience.  Also below is a suggestion from  Dr Christine Carter with a suggestion on how to foster family conncetion.  Share a story from your family history.

The Seven Cs: Building Blocks of Resilience

Bottom Line #1:

Young people live up or down to expectations we set for them. They need adults who believe in them unconditionally and hold them to the high expectations oding blocks of resilience. f being compassionate, generous, and creative.

Competence: When we notice what young people are doing right and give them opportunities to develop important skills, they feel competent. We undermine competence when we don't allow young people to recover themselves after a fall.    

Confidence: Young people need confidence to be able to navigate the world, think outside the box, and recover from challenges.     

Connection: Connections with other people, schools, and communities offer young people the security that allows them to stand on their own and develop creative solutions.    

Character: Young people need a clear sense of right and wrong and a commitment to integrity.    

Contribution: Young people who contribute to the well-being of others will receive gratitude rather than condemnation. They will learn that contributing feels good and may therefore more easily turn to others, and do so without shame.   

Coping: Young people who possess a variety of healthy coping strategies will be less likely to turn to dangerous quick fixes when stressed.

Control: Young people who understand privileges and respect are earned through demonstrated responsibility will learn to make wise choices and feel a sense of control.

Bottom Line #2:
What we do to model healthy resilience strategies for our children is more important than anything we say about them.

Christine Carter's Tip: Tell a Story from Your Family History

Here's a way to foster family connection: Share a story from your family history. It doesn't even have to be a good story! 

Research shows that one way people foster happiness is by creating a particular type of narrative about their history, one that demonstrates that family members have been through both good and bad times together, but through it all they've stuck together. 

Kids who know a lot about their family history--the parts that they didn't experience themselves, but that were passed down to them through stories--feel that they are a part of something much larger than themselves. This, in turn, gives kids enormous emotional benefits according to researchers Marshall Duke, Amber Lazarus and Robyn Fivush. These benefits include: 

• a greater sense of control over their lives; 
• higher self-esteem; better family functioning; 
• greater family cohesiveness; 
• lower levels of anxiety; 
• fewer behavior problems. 

In fact, in Duke, Lazarus, and Fivush's research, knowledge of family narrative was more strongly associated with children's emotional well-being than any other factor. (Read more about this research here.)

So one way to foster family happiness is to make time for family conversations. Why not start this week? To help, I've created this list of 20 Questions to Ask at a Family Dinner. 


Community Take Aways from Ken Ginsburg Event

On November 17, Ken Ginsburg, MD was the featured speaker at a Glenbard Parent 

David Majewski (left)
and Ken Ginsburg, MD 

Series program at the College of DuPage MAC. Glenbard West parent David Majewski shared the following takeaway from the program titled Helping Kids Thrive:  Mastering the Tools to Succeed in a High Pressure Culture:

"I enjoyed the suggestions about "lighthouse parenting," which focuses on the relationship. Not having all the answers with your kids but problem solving with them as they face things. Make sure your children know they are loved unconditionally. Hold them to high expectations. Help them to be their personal best. Success is not defined by a grade - the goal is to have your child become a successful 35-year-old adult. Praise effort over results. Strive to strike a balance between protection and guidance. Guard against raising children who are afraid to experience failure; it is what creates their ability to bounce back. Model healthy ways to deal with stress, such as exercise, good nutrition and sleep."

Jay Wojcik & Ken Ginsburg, MD

On November 18, Jay Wojcik attended our Youth Leaders Community Forum and Glenbard Parent Series presentation about resilience by Ken Ginsburg, MD and shared the following takeaway: "This was one fantastic presentation. "Lighthouse parenting" is an effective, pragmatic approach to developing young people. It is a great guide for all those who live with and work with young people. I especially enjoyed the doctor's remarks about the importance of exercise, nutrition and sleep as a way of helping to develop a resilient teen-ager. We know exercise is one of the best stress-busting strategies available. It enhances sleep and concentration, which is key to learning. And exercise is especially critical for students with ADHD, depression and anxiety. This translates beautifully to our work with younger children, which is the main focus of Healthy Lombard."

Takeaway, Resources and Video from Bullying Discussion

After the Oct. 22 Glenbard Parent Series (GPS) Navigating Healthy Families program about bullying with school psychologist John Dominguez, Glenbard North school counselor Julie Shannon shared the following takeaway:

John Dominguez and Julie Shannon

"Bullying is not the problem. It is a symptom of a larger problem.  The larger and real problem is the unhealthy culture in which bullying and other negative behaviors are able to survive. We need to create a culture where everyone shares the same values, such as being kind, courageous and selfless.  We need to create an environment where everyone feels valued and build an environment that will change negative behaviors. I learned a few short steps to repair a relationship: apologize sincerely, provide an explanation, commit to doing better, and follow through with the commitment. In this way, we can empower victims and bystanders and help repair the negative culture. It should be our goal for all students to be excellent at being kind."


Video of this presentation by John Dominguez

 2:34:37

A Paradigm Shift: Helping Kids Create an Environment Where Bullying is Obsolete

Glenbard Parent Series presentation made by Dr. John Dominguez on 10/22/15.

To really hear and understand his important message, please watch this entire video 


Resources 

Bullying Prevention in School: A Major Paradigm Shift (notes from this event)

What to do if your child is being cyberbullied (from the Center on Media and Child Health)

Bullying and Cyberbullying Prevention and Advocacy Collaborative 
(Boston Children's Hospital)

Brain Differences Seen in Teenage Heavy Drinkers

Red Ribbon Week Oct 22-31 serves as a catalyst to mobilize communities to educate youth and encourage participation in drug prevention activities.  Here is an interesting article from HealthDay News on the addiction cycle of binge drinking and brain development.

Brain Differences Seen in Teenage Heavy Drinkers

Parent Take-away and Resource from GPS: Raising the Selfie Generation 

Glenbard West parent Sandy Gelfer shared the following takeaway from the Oct. 13 Glenbard Parent Series program Raising the Selfie Generation with Alec Couros:

Alec Couros and Sandy Gelfer

"It's important to help our students take control of their digital identity to define who they are. We need to embrace the technology and then help them create a positive digital footprint.  Our identity is being linked to our reputation and online history.  Parents can forgive; the web does not. We should educate our kids on strategies to keep themselves more private and less public, to effectively utilize technology and manage multiple stems of simultaneous information. Put your phones down and enjoy life."

For more information, check out Alec Couros: 

• Website
• YouTube: The Connected Teacher
• Couros' YouTube Channel
• Slide Share Presentations

At the Glenbard Parent Series program with Randy Sprick on Tuesday, Oct 12, Positive Parenting: Mastering Motivation, Attitude and Responsibility Glenbard South parent Janet Wolf shared this take -away:

Dr. Randy Sprick with Glenbard South parent Janet Wolf

"Thank for for sponsoring this presentation with Dr. Sprick.  Some of his points that were especially helpful included the message that it is important to keep the end goal for your children in mind - the traits that you want to see in your child when he /she is an adult.  Then look for opportunities to reinforce these traits.  Specific and descriptive praise can be so meaningful to children (and to adults).  And while there is also a place for the consequences of misbehavior, it is important to give more time and attention to those things that your children do well. Model the behaviors you want your child to develop, and do monitor your teens activities-increase independence gradually.   His comments about how to set limits, especially related to electronics, were also appreciated.  

Thank you again for arranging this speaker!"

Resource information:

Dr. Sprick's handout from this event:  Positive Parenting: Practical Solutions for
Positive Results

Dr. Sprick's website: Safe and Civil Schools

Over 200 attend Oct. 8 noon Glenbard Parent Series Event Julie Lythcott-Haims “How to Raise an Adult!”

The Glenbard Parent Series was honored to host Julie Lythcott-Haims former dean of freshmen and undergraduate advising at Stanford University on a book tour for her first book How to Raise an Adult: Break Free of the Overparenting Trap and Prepare Your Kid for Success. She has written and spoken widely on the phenomenon of helicopter parenting and her work has appeared on TEDX talks, Forbes, the Chicago Tribune and others. She holds a BA from Stanford and a JD from Harvard Law. The author congratulated GPS on the breath and quality of its offerings. Here is what some participants shared after her presentation on Oct 8.

Diane Vallerugo

Diane Vallerugo, Stratford Middle School and Glenbard North Parent, shares her take away:

The speakers personal insights as a parent and experience as a college dean has her perfectly placed to bring this important message to our community-overparenting can lead to less confident and less competent kids.  Our children need to experience failure to acquire resilience. Let your child advocate for themselves. Lets reclaim childhood. Stop the focus on brand name colleges Not every moment is a make or break moment. Do one thing each day to grow your child's  independence.

Overheard in the discussions after:

• I need to stop hovering, back off and let my child experience some fairlures -so they can learn from their mistakes
• My overparenting can lead to less confidence and a lack of self-efficacy.
• We need to stop the focus on 5 schools in the country! Our children are not failures if they don't get in there! Check out the list of Colleges that Change Lives.
• Our overprotective culture need to charge-our kids feel we don't trust them to do it without us
• Stops saying "we" are going to college, "we" are on the team.
• Stop doing their homework!
• Think long term not short term
• As parents we need to think about putting ourselves out of a job
• As a parent -you can have a dream- but don't shape your child's dreams.

Matthew John Rodriguez Illinois PTA President

and author Julie Lythcott-Haims

Resources for Julie Lythcott-Haims and Raising an Adult:

"How to Raise an Adult" web site

Facebook for Dean Julie

Throw out the checklisted childhood | Julie Lythcott-Haims | TEDx

Follow up on "Conquering the Challenges of College Costs"with Frank Palmasani GPS speaker, Saturday, Sept. 26.

 

Frank Palmasani

Frank Palmasani, author of "Right College, Right Price" and creator of the financial fit online program, highlighted 30 steps you can take to save thousands of dollars in college costs and pay for college without excessive debt. This seminar shared the latest information about scholarships, financial aid, student loans and the college search process.

For more information, please take a look at Frank Palmasani's:

Financial Fit Handout

Conquering College Costs 2015 presentation slides

Follow-up on Dr. Kelly McGonigal's "The Upside to Stress" and the Use of "Values Affirmation" 

Dr. Kelly McGonigal, GPS speaker on September 15 and 16, spoke of the successful use of "Values Affirmation" in decreasing stress and increasing performance.

The Value of "Values Affirmation"

Research shows that modest school interventions can help raise grades and improve health and happiness.

May 2, 2012|by Stanford GSB Staff

The Value of "Values Affirmation"

stanford.io

Research shows that modest school interventions can help raise grades and improve health and happiness.

The importance of "Being Still"

This tip was forwarded to us by The Family Institute of Northwestern, with a challenge (not easy at this busy time of year) ..to be still. It reminds me of the times I would ask my son about his day at high school just as he walked in the door or got in my car at the end of his school day.  We figured out that was the worst time to talk.  He needed time to "chill" and process what had happened in his day before he could even consider sharing it with his parents. The tip below also mentions the importance of  modeling the behaviors we wish to instill in our children. Hope this tip is useful to your family.

What, Be Still?

Link to this TFI Tip 

Christine Carter sociologist, happiness expert and former GPS speaker shares a simple meditation practice. Learn more at our GPS event with Kelly McGonigal on Sept. 15, 7pm at Glenbard West and Sept. 16, noon at District 15 Marquardt Administration Center.

Start your own meditation practice

MONDAY, JULY 27, 2015 - 9 COMMENTS » | TAGS: HAPPINESS TIPS