Friday, September 3, 2021

GPS hosts Drs. Christopher Thurber and Hendrie Weisinger for a program about positive parental approach

On August 19, the Glenbard Parent Series hosted authors Dr. Chris Thurber and Dr. Hank Weisinger in a program titled "The Unlikely Art of Parental Pressure: A Positive Approach to Pushing Your Child to Be Their Best Self."  

Hendrie Wesinger (left)
and Chris Thuber

Dr. Christopher Thurber is a thought leader in positive youth development. He has dedicated his professional life to improving how caring adults teach and lead young people, and to enhancing the experience of adventurous young people who are spending time away from home.   A graduate of Harvard University and UCLA, Dr. Thurber has served as a psychologist and instructor at Phillips Exeter Academy since 1999.

Hendrie Weisinger, Ph.D. is a world-renowned psychologist trained in clinical, counseling, school, and organizational psychology.  He is the originator of Criticism Training, an expert in the application and development of Emotional Intelligence, and the creator of the emerging field of Pressure management.  In addition to The Unlikely Art of Parental Pressure, Dr. Weisinger is the author of Performing Under Pressure: The Science of Doing Your Best When It Matters Most, and The Power of Positive Criticism.



Parent Ami Chambers shared this takeaway after the program:

“I appreciated the suggestions to reframe comments I make to my son because even if well-meaning, they may not be received how I had hoped. The reminder to focus on effort rather than outcome is always helpful. The psychologist suggested that  parents should have reasonable and customized expectations specific to the child’s interests, abilities, and personality. To summarize, it’s ok to have high expectations as long as the focus of encouragement is on effort and personal best, rather than competition and perfection”.

 

A recording of the student directed question and answer session can be found here: https://youtu.be/ZRzXwUQ1xA0

 

A recording of the entire program can be found here: https://youtu.be/fM6rLASaPlE

RESOURCES

Dr. Thurber's website HERE
Dr. Weisinger's website HERE
Parental Pressures Twitter account HERE
Poadcast: The Many Faces of Parental Pressure: Psychologist POV, Jul 24, 2021 HERE

Friday, July 16, 2021

How to Raise a Drug-Free Teen: A look at steps parents can take to support their teen in a making a drug-free choice

 A recent virtual town hall hosted by suburban Chicago area coalitions provided tips and resources for substance use prevention. The presenters encouraged caregivers to talk early and often with their teens about alcohol use. For example, 60, one-minute conversations will be much more successful than one 60-minute discussion. Check out the recording of the town hall at this link. 

One of the best ways to prevent substance use is for adults to educate themselves to have an informed talk with their teen. Substance use is significantly lower among teens who believe their parents strongly disapprove. Adults can find more tips and tools from the DuPage County Prevention Leadership Team.
 
The event was presented in partnership with Reality Illinois, the Teen Advisory Board to the DuPage County Health Department. The group, which is open to all DuPage teens, advocates, participates in service projects and assists with awareness campaigns. For more information on the Reality Teen Advisory Board, click here. The group meets weekly during the summer and monthly during the school year. For more information, or to join, contact Gilda Ross, Glenbard student and community projects coordinator, at this email or 630-942-7668.




Monday, May 10, 2021

Jessica Lahey speaks on her latest book Addiction Inoculation: Raising Healthy Kids in a Culture of Dependence on May 4 and 5, 2021

On May 4 and 5 the Glenbard Parent Series hosted best-selling author of the "Gift of Failure "Jessica Lahey at a  program titled, “Addiction Inoculation: Raising Healthy Kids in a Culture of Dependence” which is the title of her most recent book.

Jessica Lahey’s THE ADDICTION INOCULATION, draws on the her personal experience and professional background teaching teens in rehab, and incorporating the latest scientific research to offer an accessible, evidence-based prevention program for raising addiction-resistant kids.

Jessica Lahey is a teacher, writer, and mom. Over twenty years, she’s taught every grade from sixth to twelfth in both public and private schools. She writes about education, parenting, and child welfare for The Atlantic, Vermont Public Radio, The Washington Post and the New York Times.



Jordan Esser the Coordinator of the Prevention Leadership Team of the DuPage County Health Department participated in the event on May 5 and shared the following takeaway: 

"Open communication,  role modeling  and monitoring are the cornerstone of healthy families. Talk to your children honestly about  their 'adverse childhood experiences' -the ACEs /risk factors, that might lead to substance use disorder. Delay, delay, delay as time is an important protective factor.  A rapid, unaccounted for change in behavior should be of concern- intervene early.  Be aware of your messaging around alcohol like 'this helps me relax', and heightened risk times like summer and the transition to high school. Give your kids self -efficacy, and the belief that they can succeed and make their lives better. Love the child in front of you - not just their performance.  Start the conversation early,  be prepared with data, don’t lecture, and listen even when you disagree."

A recording of the student and school staff directed question and answer session can be found HERE


 Resources mentioned by Lahey in her presentation

Jessica Lahey's Web Site

Adverse Childhood Experiences (ACEs) from CDC 

Parenting in Place Masterclass

Partnership to End Addiction

SAMHSA (Substance Abuse & Mental Health Services Administration)


Books mentioned by Lahey in her presentation

Fostering Resilience and Well-Being in Children and Families in Poverty: Why Hope Still Matters by Valerie Maholmes

The Deepest Well: Healing the Long-Term Effects of Childhood Adversity by Dr. Nadine Burke Harris

Recovering my Kid by Joseph Lee MD 

Clean by David Sheff

High by David & Nic Sheff


Interviews with Lahey

Link to a WGN radio interview with Jessica Lahey on May 4 HERE

Rachel Steinman Podcast Dear Family with Jessica Lahey as guest HERE

People Magazine, April 14, 2021: Author Jessica Lahey Turned Her Alcoholism Into Mission to Protect Kids From Substance Abuse HERE


Drug Free Coalitions in partnership with Glenbard Parent Series (click for details)

DuPage County Health Department's Prevention Leadership Team

Kids Matter

Deerfield Parent Network

Parent Community Network

Link Together Coalition

Bensenville Youth Coalition

Stand Strong Coalition

City of Elmhurst Commission on Youth

360 Youth Services


Prevention and Treatment Resource Links

Please click HERE for a list of local/community-based organizations focused on the mental health and substance use issues of youth.  Contains contact details of these providers.













Wednesday, April 14, 2021

Glenbard Parent Series hold social justice roundtable on April 8, 2021

On April 8 the Glenbard Parent Series hosted spoken word poet Jonathan Mendosa and  human rights activist Qasim Rashid at a  program titled  “Roundtable for Social Justice”.


Qasim Rashid is an author, human rights lawyer focused on women’s rights, religious freedom, and children’s advocacy, and a graduate of Glenbard South High School.  Mr. Rashid is regularly published in national and international media outlets including TIME, and the Washington Post and he has been interviewed at FOX News, CNN, NBC, and CBS. Rashid is the author of four books including “Talk to Me :Changing the Narrative on Race, Religion, and Education” and his debut picture book “Hannah and the Ramadan Gift,” which celebrates good deeds during the month of Ramadan, out April 6, 2021. Qasim, his wife, Ayesha, and their three children reside in Virginia. 

Jonathan Mendoza is a nationally recognized Spoken-Word Poet — spoken-word being a performance art that is word-based, and which focuses on the aesthetics of word play such as intonation and voice inflection. Mr. Mendoza is a National Poetry Slam champion and a Louder Than A Bomb Massachusetts Youth Poetry Slam alumnus and organizer. Mendoza ties the artistic to the political, the academic to the emotional, providing galvanizing content for a variety of audiences and making him a rising star in the world of spoken word.


Scott Meyers and Shannon McMullen Glenbard North English teachers showcased several of their English 3 students as a highlight of the event. Ms. McMulen shared the following takeaway:

 Mendoza and Rashid focused their conversation around the idea that all people have voices that they can raise in the fight for social justice: Anyone who wants to improve their communities needs to spend time reflecting on their own story first. Asking "who am I, where do I come from, and what have I been through?" leads us to understanding how we can contribute to the causes we care about.  Remember that no one does anything alone. Seek out collaborators and a team of supporters to maximize the impact of the work! Also remember to spend time with loved ones and engage in enjoyable activities to remain energized for the work. Change is accomplished with narrow, focused goals. No person or group of people can ever, solve all the world's problems, but with directed, deliberate effort, a solution to one problem that helps a world of people is achievable!  Use the acronym RISE to guide activism and social change work, and the process of allyship:

 R = re-educate yourself; become an expert on the subject causes you care about, reading and learning anything you can about the issue. Engage with experts on the issue and network with them to build connections. 

 I = Identify implicit biases: Reflect on where your own biases lie, what privileges you have, and how these biases / privileges might challenge you in your work. Brainstorm solutions to working through these biases. 

 S = Serve and support: target aspects of your community where you can provide support to others and seek out support from those

 E = Elevate: learn to "pass the mic;" instead of becoming "a voice for the voiceless," use the platform you build and the privilege you have to let marginalized communities speak for themselves

Ultimately, Mendoza and Rashid emphasized that anyone seeking positive change in the world--but especially young people--need to have faith in themselves and believe they are capable. All voices have inherent worth.


Resources







Thursday, March 4, 2021

Dr. Catherine Pearlman, of "The Family Coach", joined GPS for two events March 2 and 3

 

The Glenbard Parent Series: (GPS) Navigating Healthy Families held two events with Catherine Pearlman. On March 2, Pearlman presented a program for parents/guardians of children ages 3 to 11 entitled "Ignore It: Increase Parenting Satisfaction by Selectively Looking the Other Way."  On March 3, Pearlman presented a workshop for professionals titled, "One Kind Act Begets Another: How to Create a Culture of Kindness that Benefits You and Your Students."

GPS is committed to providing quality programming as part of our Early Childhood Series in partnership with our like-minded  co-sponsors. We recognize this focus on early childhood development helps to lay the  foundation for a child's successful future.

With all the whining, begging, negotiating, and the challenging situations adults face, parenting can seem more like a chore than a pleasure. Pearlman outlines a four-step approach that combines effective, practical strategies supported by research. She advises stressed-out parents that selectively ignoring certain behaviors can build self-control, inspire positive change and return the joy to child rearing. Participants will learn behavior modification techniques to restore calm, avoid power struggles and build strong family relationships. 

 Research shows that being kind measurably boosts happiness and well-being. Several benefits have been reported to support teaching kindness: increased peer acceptance, a greater sense of belonging, better concentration and creative thinking. Kindness helps people be their best; inspires acts of kindness; and improves results at school. Learn how people can teach and support a culture of kindness that can change the world, and us, for the better.

 Pearlman is an assistant professor in the social work program at Brandman University, a nationally syndicated columnist and the best-selling author of “Ignore It: Increase Parenting Satisfaction by Selectively Looking the Other Way.”  She started The Family Coach to help moms and dads with typical parenting issues. Her mission is to help parents enjoy their parenting and kids more. 

Take-Aways

On March 2, the Glenbard Parent Series hosted Dr. Catherine Pearlman, author of “Ignore It! How Selectively Looking the Other Way Can Decrease Behavioral Problems and Increase Parenting Satisfaction” as part of GPS early child programming.

Jeanine Woltman, Glenbard Early Childhood Collaborative Coordinator, attended the program and shared the following takeaway:

“I enjoyed hearing about Dr. Pearlman’s four-step process to  eliminate the rewards of attention seeking behavior: Ignore it, Listen ,Reengage, and Repair. There are age appropriate behaviors kids cannot control and when we give ourselves permission to ignore them it increases parent satisfaction. If you aren't up to the follow though of the consequence (which is key) then say yes or ignore it. Reward the good behaviors even if they are small -you can build on them! Check your own feelings as a parent - just like on an airplane - you put your own mask on first. You have to take care of your own basic needs first.  Find a way to recharge yourself so you are able to present your best self to your child. Ending/ignoring the endless negotiations will make everyone’s lives so much better".

On March 3,  the Glenbard Parent Series hosted The Family Coach columnist Dr Catherine Pearlman in a program titled “One Kind Act Begets Another: How to Create a Culture of Kindness that Benefits You and Your Students”. 

Sandra McDonnell Executive Director of Navigating Adolescence attended the program and shared the following takeaway: 

“We can’t underestimate the importance of intentionally cultivating a culture of kindness – both in the home and in the schools.  Dr. Pearlman humbly shared  her story of literally giving her kidney to a stranger, and then making the point that kindnesses both big and small make a difference – to those receiving the kind gesture and to those acting with kindness. She offered very practical and do-able ways for parents and educators to encourage the development of the kindness muscle – even in kids for whom it doesn’t come easily. Additionally, she encouraged us to look for opportunities to praise our kids three times each day.  Youth need to see adults acting kind. Kindness is contagious - showcase it often. I came away inspired to provide the young people we serve with more opportunities to develop this critical skill.” 

Resources

Sunday, January 31, 2021

Dr. John Duffy joins GPS for two programs on adolescent anxiety: school, stress and social media

On Jan. 27 the Glenbard Parent Series hosted clinical psychologist John Duffy PhD in a program for school staff and professionals titled "Understanding Our Student's Stressed, Depressed and Amazing Adolescents in the Age of Anxiety".  Also on Jan. 27, Dr. Duffy spoke to parents and care-givers in a  program entitled Parenting in the New Age of Anxiety: Understanding Your Child’s Stressed, Depressed and Amazing Adolescence at 7 p.m.

Dr. John Duffy is a clinical psychologist, best-selling author and podcaster specializing in relationships, parenting, teens and families.  Along with his clinical work, Dr. Duffy is the author of the number-one best-selling The Available Parent, and Parenting the New Teen in the Age of Anxiety.

Dr. John Duffy was also a guest speaker at DuPage County Prevention Leadership Team (PLT) monthly coalition meeting and shared great insight about the stress and anxiety our teens are facing today and some strategies to help them thrive.

Take-Aways from these presentations

Jordan Esser, Community Initiatives Coordinator for the DuPage County Health Dept. attended the event and shared the following takeaway: 

” Dr. Duffy provided important insight into our teens growing anxiety, as a result of social media, a tumultuous political climate, social isolation and the uneasiness that a global pandemic can bring. Kids need unconditional positive regard-be that trusted adult that is ready to listen when teens need to vent. Light up when you see them, it can shift their sense of worth. Encourage teens to have a daily conversation with  a friend, or relative to assist with their social skills. Take regular breaks from social media. We all need physical activity  every day. Be sure you have someone to discuss your emotions with so you can be positive and give to others.. Be kind and gentle with yourself. Self-care is a priority and a necessity not a luxury.

Eric Johansen, Assistant Principal for Operations at Glenbard North High School attended and shared the following takeaway: 

“My wife and I watched Dr. John Duffy last night on Parenting in the New Age of Anxiety. It was such a great opportunity for us as parents of soon-to-be teens to hear from an expert and gather some new ideas while reinforcing some parenting tips that may have gotten a bit lost, especially during our extra time together during the pandemic. These are some things that really resonated with us:

Take a look around your home and get a feel for the vibe. Is it too quiet, too loud, cluttered? This is something that is fully within our power. My wife and I need to set the tone in the one place that we can control it, our home. It needs to be a positive, orderly environment for our kids to spend their days and nights.

Regardless of how we are feeling as adults, the positive to negative ratio needs to always be tipping heavily on the positive side. Our kids are exposed to plenty of negative things so we need to be the positive presence that they can count on.

With our kids on screens for school, in addition to the time they may be on them for fun, getting our kids moving every day cannot be compromised. Moving, whether walking the dog, using exercise equipment you may have at home, etc. is vital to mood and mental well-being and will also have our kids away from screens, social media, etc. at the same time.

A big picture takeaway is just to be there for your child. My wife and I don't have to be child psychologists trying to help analyze and solve every problem our kids have. We just need to let them know that we are always there and will listen to what they have to say whether it is something they share for 2 minutes in the car on the way home from school, or something bigger that they need to talk through. We need to take what they are willing to share, when they are willing to share it, and always let them know that we love them and we have their back no matter what they have going on. 


Resources


Video of the Parenting in the New Age of Anxiety: Understanding Your Child’s Stressed, Depressed and Amazing Adolescence at 7 p.m.

Video of the professional workshop Understanding Our Student's Stressed, Depressed and Amazing Adolescents in the Age of Anxiety at noon

Take 5: Parent Video Preview – Dr John Duffy “Navigating our Child’s Disappointment”

Video of  PLT Monthly Meeting with Dr. John Duffy, Clinical Psychologist

Dr. John Duffy’s web site

Your Teen Magazine Book Review for Parents: Parenting the New Teen in the Age of Anxiety




Thursday, January 14, 2021

Phyllis Fagell presents two webinars re: bringing out best in middle school students

On Jan. 12 and 13, the Glenbard Parent Series hosted Phyllis Fagell author of  "Middle School Matters: The 10 Key Skills Kids Need to Thrive in Middle School and Beyond." The Jan 12 event included parents along with Superintendents and Principals from area school districts 15, 16, 41, 44, 89, and 93. On Jan 13, Fagell presented to educational professionals on  “How to Bring Out the Best in Kids Ages 9-15."


Middle school years can be low-stakes training ground to teach kids the key skills they’ll need to thrive now and in the future, including making good friend choices, negotiating conflict, regulating their own emotions, acting as their own advocates, and more. Phyllis Fagell is a licensed clinical professional counselor, certified professional school counselor, author and journalist.  She has worked in both public and private schools with students in grades K-12. She currently works full time as the school counselor for Sheridan School in Washington, D.C.  Fagell is the author of “Middle School Matters” and a journalist. She’s a frequent contributor to the Washington Post, focusing on counseling, parenting and education.


Take-Aways

Michael Fumagalli, Glenbard Assistant Director of Teaching and Learning helped host the event and shared the following takeaway from the Jan 12 event: 

Our kids need us more than ever, even as they push us away. Expect mistakes, but maintain high expectations, offer consistent love and validate their feeling. Share your calm/optimism/humor and your mistakes/failures. Our students need agency and influence. To help them develop the problem-solving skills they need, while giving them latitude to make mistakes that kids will make, ask  "Was that your best self?" (rather than  "What's wrong with you?" or "Why did you do that”? )  Reframing that conversation has a much more productive outcome. The question gives them an opportunity to reflect on their dispositions, attitudes, values and behaviors without condemning their actions. Reinforce your child's image as someone who will do the right thing. Model risk-taking, curiosity, collaboration and creativity. Give them a path forward when they make an error.


Caroline Andres former D87 parent and 7th grade teacher at Simmons Middle School in East Aurora attend the virtual event and shared the following takeaway from the Jan 13 event “How to Bring Out the Best in Kids Ages 9-15”.

“Ms. Fagell helped me remember how emotionally vulnerable and insecure this age group can be.  Help them understand friendships are fragile and often not reciprocated. If your child has social deficits wok on social skills such as seamlessly entering a conversation or asking questions rather than  trying to impress. Kids tend to overestimate social risk, so they need to feel seen but not judged. Model self-compassion rather than self-criticism. Ask them if there is a trusted adult they can go to in time of need.  Ask “How would you advise a friend". She also offered, when students feel left out, have them play the maybe game, asking: What are five alternative explanations that could be a reason you were not included? Think STEP: State the problem, Think about alternative solutions, Explore the solutions, Problem solve together”.



Resources


Phyllis Fagell’s web site



Value Card Sort  (PDF) credit: W.R. Miller, J. C’de Baca, D.B. Matthews, P.L. Wilbourne  University of New Mexico, 2001

Values Exercise from Think2Perform






Thursday, December 17, 2020

Dr. Jonathan Singer leads a community conversation on suicide

 On Dec. 15 the Glenbard Parent Series hosted Dr. Jonathan Singer the author of  "Suicide in Schools" in a program titled, Community Conversation on Suicide, Student Voice, Resources and Hope.


GPS was fortunate to engage Dr. Johnathan Singer for a return visit as an added event to our 2020-21 line up. The special event  included a conversation with Glenbard high school students and the leaders of local community resources.

As in his well respected book Suicide in Schools Singer provided
students, caregivers and  school-based professionals with the myths, truths and guidance on developing effective suicide prevention strategies. His suggestion that parents/caregivers model self-care and good mental health treatments (themselves)  and make sure our children understand we are there for them-no matter what can make all the difference in the world!

Lanny F. Wilson, M.D., Chairman of the DuPage Railroad Safety Council, attended the presentation and shared the following takeaway: "What a pleasure to learn about local community resources and to hear Dr. Jonathan Singer's informative presentation! Questions asked by the Glenbard students were compelling while Dr. Singer's answers were compassionate and wonderfully helpful. His 'Tips' for parents, schools, and youth need to be creatively repeated again and again. Sleep deprivation wreaks havoc on the teen brain. ‘Want the best for your child’ he said, ‘not for your child to be the best’. This community conversation on suicide prevention must continue, and our organization is pleased that the Glenbard Parent Series has given us an opportunity at 7 pm on January 21 to discuss Railroad Safety with a panel of experts in the field."


Videos with Dr. Jonathan Singer

Click here for a TAKE 5: Five Minute Video for Parents and Caregivers 

Click here for a TAKE 5: Five Minute Video for Teens

Click here for a recording of the program on Dec. 15  A Community Conversation About Suicide 


Resources for Depression and Suicide





DuPage County Health Department Crisis Services, 115 N. County Farm Road, Wheaton, IL   630-627-1700



Crisis Text Line   Text “REACH” to 741741 for 24/7 texting services.

Safe Space – a website with resources and tools to provide emotional support.

Monday, October 26, 2020

Deborah Reber Differently Wired: Raising Unconventional Children in a Conventional World, GPS event on October 16, 2020

On Tuesday, Oct. 16 the Glenbard Parent Series hosted Deborah Reber the author of Differently Wired: Raising an Exceptional Child in a Conventional World. 


Deborah Reber, MA, is a parenting activist, New York Times bestselling author, podcast host, and speaker who moved her career in a more personal direction in 2016 when she founded TiLT Parenting, a top podcast, community, and educational resource for parents like her who are raising differently wired children.  Debbie’s newest book is Differently Wired: Raising an Exceptional Child in a Conventional World (Workman Publishing, 2018). In November 2018, she spoke at TEDxAmsterdam, delivering a talk entitled Why the Future Will Be Differently Wired.



Emma-Leigh S. Strock  District 89 school psychologist shared the following takeaway:

 Deb Reber reminded parents to raise their kids from a place of acceptance, and joy.  Find opportunities to reinforce the idea that your child is loved. The parents' role is to create a world where our children feel secure, where we see children for who they are and who they are meant to be. The goal is to actively recognize, appreciate, and celebrate their unique wiring and commit to making them feel good about who they are, so they can best share their extraordinary gifts. 


Resource links

Video of this event with Debber Reber: Differently Wired HERE (YouTube)

Take 5: Parent Preview – Deborah Reber on Reinforce All Kids With Love (YouTube)

Deborah Reber’s website 

TiLT Parenting podcast

Out Now: Differently Wired: Raising an Exceptional Child in a Conventional World (Workman)

Watch Debbie’s TEDxAmsterdam talk: Why the Future Will Be Differently Wired









Dr. Christine Carter speak to GPS on teens’ uncertain futures, media overload among topics

 


On Tuesday, Oct. 20  the Glenbard Parent Series hosted Dr. Christine Carter the author of The New Adolescence:  Raising Happy and Successful Teens in and Age of Anxiety and Distraction.  Dr. Carter returned to the Glenbard Parents Series as part of our 25th year celebration to offer science-based strategies for raising happy, healthy, and successful young people. 

Christine Carter, Ph.D., is a sociologist, and Senior Fellow at UC Berkeley’s Greater Good Science Center. Her best-selling books include “The Adolescence: Raising Happy and Successful Teens in an Age of Anxiety and Distraction” (2020) and “Raising Happiness: 10 Simple Steps for More Joyful Kids and Happier Parents.” 






Glenbard South parent Anita Gaikis shared the following takeaway:


Kids need freedom, privacy, and clear guidelines (given with warmth) about our expectations.  Move to the role of consultant. We need to acknowledge our children’s very real loss and disappointments around the changes in their lives and schedules due to COVID-19. We need to acknowledge their feelings about the loss of their usual high school milestones. Teens experience their emotions very intensely. We need to actively listen without trying to fix or take away their grief and "name the  emotion - to tame it".  Is it sadness, anger, or frustration. Empathy is powerful!



A message from Dr. Christine Carter: 

"I hope you will order my new book, The New Adolescence. It's available on Amazon, of course, but my favorite local bookstore, Book Passage, can also send it to you. If you want a signed, personalized copy, Book Passage can do that, too. Just add a note in the "Order Comments" section during checkout that you'd like it signed, and to whom you'd like me to personalize it.

Participants can text CARTER to 668-66 to receive additional resources."


Resource Links

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