On April 11 the Glenbard Parent Series hosted author Rosalind Wiseman in a program titled Supporting Our Kids Through the Inevitable Ups and Downs of Teen Relationships, based on her best seller Queens Bees and Wannabees.
Friendships are essential to the mental and emotional health of teens. Wiseman returned to GPS to discuss social dynamics, friendships, crushes and dating. She empowers parents and caregivers to guide young people through the inevitable ups and downs in their social lives. Wiseman outlined how adults can help teens establish and maintain boundaries. She also discussed strategies that support communication and how to avoid feedback that will shut down a conversation.
Wiseman is a New York Times bestselling author whose publications include “Queen Bees and Wannabes: Helping Your Daughter Survive Cliques, Gossip, Boyfriends, and the New Realities of Girl World,” (which was the basis for the movie “Mean Girls”) and “Masterminds & Wingmen: Helping Our Boys Cope with Schoolyard Power, Locker-Room Tests, Girlfriends, and the New Rules of Boy World.”
Take Away
Mike Fumagalli Assistant Director of Teaching and Learning hosted the event and shared the following takeaway:
"Ms. Wiseman helped us understand the complexity, and intense feeling around friendships and the predicament of adolescence that makes friendships so key. As adults, we tend to give advice based on what we think should motivate kids but, in reality, does not. Young people will work to avoid shame, embarrassment and humiliation at all costs while seeking to add contribution to their group/community.
As parents, our job is to help our children navigate the tumultuous experience of growing up, using their emotions as information, and using relationships to maintain the dignity of others. We have to work on validating our childrens' need to create a sense of belonging and use teachable moments to be constructive versus destructive. Young people are the subject-matter experts of their lives and it is our responsibility to model and teach them what healthy relationships look like.
Finally, emotions are real but not permanent. We can change the way we feel. Teaching young people to harness that power is key. Listening to others means being prepared to be changed by what we hear. As parents, we don’t have to fix everything. In fact, that does more harm than good. However, we can utilize challenging times to support our children's discomfort and work toward growth."
Resources
Notes from this GPS event with Rosalind Wiseman, April 11, 2023
HERE
Cultures of Dignity/Rosalind Wiseman website
HERE
Cultures of Dignity Blog
HERE
Where Parents Talk: Deconstructing Dignity and Respect with Rosalind Wiseman
VIDEO HERE
Avenues The World School: Rosalind Wiseman - Queen Bees & Masterminds
VIDEO HERE
